This boy slapped his momma! I would not be breathing, if this were me....

Now, while watching this video I know you guys are laughing pretty hard....but going straight to the heart of this video...If anyone of you were to even THINK about slapping your mom-dukes, I'm sure you would have been dead, I mean...She would be digging up your grave after she killed you....No lie. This kid didn't even think twice before before puttin' his hand up and slapping his mom. It's like it was a normal thing to do in his house.

Now, I don't know if I should be mad at the kid for slapping her, or should I be mad at the mom for not even reacting to the slap...Man! If this were me, I would have snatched up this kid so fast, he wouldn't know what the hell happened...My hand would have been so far up his ass he would have been my ventriloquist puppet....I'm being really honest right now. This kid would think three times before even thinking about some bullsh!t like this...

This is what this kid would look like after I was done with his ass

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't condon violence, especially towards kids...BUT, If a kid wanna act grown, best believe he will be dealt with like he were grown...I would have smacked the SH!T outta this kid!

I think I have said my piece on this matter...What do you guys think about this situation? Am I wrong for saying what I am saying, it's my opinion....But, I'm wondering what you guys think....

Have a great and Slap-free day! =)

Have a badass kid? Spank'em...I won't judge

We don't die, we just multiply!

It's been a couple days since my last blog...Sorry! been kinda busy, I do have a life too...LOL!!!! But, I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

Have you ever witnessed this at a mall, or a store?

Kid: Mommy, can I get this Lego Set? PLEASE!!!!!
Mom: For the last time, I said no. You have 3 other sets at home that you haven't even touched yet.
Kid: But, I REALLY need this one.
Mom: Just like you "needed" the last 3 Lego sets you wanted....I said NO!
(this is where it gets interesting)
Kid: YOU FUCKING BITCH! I FUCKING HATE YOU!
Mom: wait til we get home....(in between her gritted teeth)

Man! GTFOH!!! If that were me, that this kid would have been snatched up so quick by his/her ear they wouldn't have known what just happened. I would have embarrassed the hell out of him/her, they would think twice about doing some sh!t like that.

Spankin's are a way of letting the kid now, hey it's not a good idea to piss mommy or daddy off. If I do, my ass will get a good whack. Now, I know some think that whoopin' your kids ass is the best thing...there I disagree! Squaring off like you are about to have a heavy weight match with your kid is a bit much, I think.

Here's an example of a spankin':

Kid crosses the street by himself. You, as the parent, are very upset with him. You tell him (more like a yell, not a scream) tell him why it wasn't a good idea to cross the street by himself, turn him around in the process of yelling and pop him in the butt hard enough for him to feel a bit of pain, and at the same time embarrass him in front of everyone. I'm pretty sure he will think twice about crossing the street again. That's a spankin'...a little discomfort.

Here's an example of a beat down:

Same kid crosses the street, but instead of you popping him on the butt, you straight up lose your damn mind and punch him in the face, take a belt and leave belt prints on the poor childs back...That's what I call ridiculous!

Ignorance that's what I call senseless beating on a child. "That's how I got raised." is usually what you hear from someone....You are right, but you can also change the way it was done. You don't have to go and whoop your kids ass, because he touched a bag of candy in the store. Come on now...I think that's a bit much. There are other ways to get your point across....If there is no other way for you to speak to your child other than hurting them....This is the reason why we have kids that turn to criminals when they become teens and adults, they don't respect authority, they think it's a joke. I was afraid of my parents, yes, but I also respected them...to a certain extent, but I won't get into that right now.

Fear, works with kids for a little bit, but remember....those little boogers grow up, and you become old, what do you think is gonna happen when you need help with whipping your ass? Either a nursing home where they won't visit you, just leave you there, or they could beat you senseless too....Some people are evil like that.

Don't be afraid to spank your kid/s if they need to be spanked...Shot! If Dysis acts out, you best believe she getting a good whackin' no matter where we are...She'll think twice before she acts out again....

What are your guy's thoughts on the issue?

Where is this kids' momma?!

Fuck you mommy!!!!



What NOT to wear: Prom Edition

The Royal Idiots!

Prom season is right around the corner, and if you remember around this time you were trying to find that "Right" dress/suit for the BIG NIGHT. You wanted to make sure that you and your date were going to stand out from the rest of the crowd. These outfits were gonna be the talk of the prom and for years to come. That's all fine and dandy, but some people took that sh!t to the EXTREME! and when I say extreme, I mean WAY OUT THERE...


Don't believe me? Here are some examples....Fair warning, what you are about to see WILL cause uncontrollable laughter....You have been warned.

OHHHHHHHHH! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Spongebob Square STUPID!....Apparently this dumb ass bitch! One question though...Where's the man of the hour? Where's Spongebob? I bet the poor soul who asked this chick to the prom took one look at this bullsh!t she calls a dress and said something like this "Ummm, yeah about prom night, I won't be able to make it...I have to shave my nuts that night. Sorry. Maybe some other time." And walks the fuck off! LOOK.....She even has the matching purse to go with the dress...Only God knows what this poor child was thinking when she thought that this was a good idea....(in my Kevin Hart voice) Help her baby Jesus!


Sesame Street had a Prom?  

Unless your date to the prom is going to Big Bird, you should NEVER! EVER, NEVER! Think that wearing this is a good idea. I would never suggest this atrocity of a dress to a Muppet, let alone a living breathing person. The person who even put this dress idea on paper should be strangled with the fabric with which this dress was made on the spot!

Easter Egg Inspiration? Maybe?

 I guess these two Dodo Birds thought that by wearing these "things" they call dresses, that they would look hot. Well, they got one thing right, they look like a "HOT ASS MESS!" These two fools look like the Easter bunny had eaten bad Easter eggs for lunch, and he threw up all over their stupid asses. Their moms should be slapped for even letting their daughter leave the house looking like this...

Related to Sisqo?

By looking at this picture can you hear this in your head....
"Ooh dat dress so scandalous
And ya know another nigga couldn't handle it
See ya shakin that thang like who's da ish
With a look in ya eye so devilish"
No? I guess, I'm the only one then...I wonder why?

Going out in total FAIL fashion

Baby's first Prom...They gotta start somewhere, right?

Do I even have to comment on this one? WTF is NOT wrong with this picture...I'm lost for words, I have no comment. Insert your own comment, I'm sure anything you say will be funny as all hell....Oh and another thing, Can anybody PLEASE help me? Can anyone figure out what the hell the bottom arrow is pointing at? I'm confused. I don't like being confused =(


Baby, Baby!

"I love it when they call me Big Momma!" Biggy came back in female form...LOL! Sorry, I had to take it there....And what the hell were the goof troops on the right side of this picture thinking when they picked out these outfits? They would win the best dressed Smurfs contest, for SURE!

I didn't know HBO had Proms

(In my Michael Buffer voice) In the Left corner we have The Red Bandits, and in the Right Corner we have The Purple Guppies...When the FUCK did hoodies become prom fashionable? I wonder who came up with the idea for this mess?! I'm sure that if I turn my TV on to Friday Night Fights on HBO we would see all these (in my John McCord voice) Tard Flakes on the screen...

Since I know some of you guys that read this have kids....One day your kids will go to High School and that glamorous day will rear its ugly head...I really hope you can remember this post and the pictures in it. Know what NOT to let your kids wear to a formal outing, you can be sure that they will go down in history as the idiot that showed up to the Prom looking like a freaking idiot!

Have a blessed day everyone....

A public apology...

I know there is something called freedom of speech, but because its out there, it doesn't mean I have the right to write something and potentially upset a close friend....

The "Fat Friend" post has been taken down for obvious reasons. I was slapped in the face (not literally) with friends disgust for the issue. Once, I realized how upset some people were with the post, I became upset with myself for even writing and posting the Blog up.

I have no excuse for my actions. I am really upset that I have upset friends with my crude humour. I have apologized personally to two people who were hurt, in one way or the other. Now, I am apologizing to everyone else who might have take offense to my stupidity.

Once again, I am sorry...And next time I will think twice before posting something that might be offensive to others.

Have a great day everyone....

Have nasty, crusty feet?! Keep them sh!ts to yourself!!!!!

The summer is around the corner, and clothes are becoming more scarce on the human body. Shorts, navel showing shirts, and the feet are starting to come out too...Here's my problem, if your feet look like you spend your days kicking rocks for a living...You need not be wearing ANY KIND of open toed shoes...ANY KIND!

I know you guys have been walking down the street or in a store, and while looking down you have seen some shit that made you GAG! Come to find out, that what you have just seen were someones FEET! Here are some examples of what I am talking about....

 Rock Star?

These feet are what my lil sister would call "FRRRRRUCKED!" You can forget about the Pedegg, a Personal Foot Spa, an Electric Wood Shaver, Sh!t you can't pay the local nail shop enough money to put their hands on these nasty looking things this person calls "feet"...There is no Pedicure in the world! That can help these God forsaken dawgs out. My suggestion, Cut these suckers off at the root and get you some new ones! Help this person Baby Jesus!

Did these shoes call for an order of Bunions?!

If your feet have that what people call "Bunions" DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT wear open toed ANYTHING! Look at this chicks feet...It looks like she growing baby toes...Fucking NASTY!!!! I can completely understand if you want to be up on the latest fashions, but COME ON SON! If your feet look this fucked up! You shouldn't even be walking with them, let alone put them out for the WHOLE WORLD TO SEE!!!!!



WTF?!

Why, Oh Why....Just why?! That's all that comes out of my mouth why I see this? Who in the BLOODY HELLLLLLLLL! Let this bitch walk out her house, with her feet out?! Better yet, Why in God's green earth did anyone let this girl buy these sandals in the first place?! I don't give two flying squirrel nuts what anyone says! Why is this bitch walking around with STUBS for toes, and showing them off like they cute? On top of that, Doesn't it look like she's flipping you off with her DAMNED feet? Whoever let their 'friend" out looking like a damn fool, needs to be SHOT on the spot! At least the one toe nail that she has on each foot is taken care of....

Are Those Fingers or Toes? Im confused O.o
FAIL!!!

I know, we have all seen this sh!t once or twice in our lives....Riddle me this, Why does this chick insist on trying to fit her size 13 foot, into this size 6 shoe? Did she REALLY think that no one was gonna see this mess?! Your feet are too big, Your toes are to damn long (looking like she has fingers instead of toes)....Looking like a (in my John McCord voice)  FUCKING TURD NUGGET! Stop trying to convince yourself that you can fit these shoes hoe! You know you haven't worn a size 6 since the 4th Grade! I bet you are related to the Yeti...Big Footed as BITCH! Go kill yourself for even attempting to fool people....DUMB ASS BITCH!!!!

Here's my deal, if your feet look like they got ran over by a frieght train, or they look like you play soccer with boulders...You really shouldn't, I can't stress this enough, be showing off those things you call feet. I would perfer to call them "Ankle Stubs"....Just a suggestion, but what do I know, RIGHT?

Have a blessed, and Ugly Feet free day!



Someone, PLEASE! come up with a cure for Dumbass-itis! You don't look and will NEVER look like Nicki Minaj!



"It's NOT Barbie Bitch"



Nicki Minaj, the self proclaimed Black Barbie has created a wave of Minaj wannabes....There is an epidemic people keep yourselves protected...It seems contagious!



Why do we have a gang of females trying to dress, and act like Nicki? They definitely DO NOT look like Nicki...Last Halloween was freakin' ridiculous! I saw, Black girls, White girls, Hispanic girls, shoot I even saw men dressing up like her...

Here are a couple of examples....

Why in the world would I want to look like this? Nicki, I love some of your music, but you look like a walking push pop. WTF?! were you thinking when you decided to wear this mess of a wardrobe? The Pink beehive wig, with the purple martian-woman get up really?!

Nicki Minaj: The Human Popsicle.

Nicki Look-a-likes? What's wrong with this picture?

Nicki Minaj's Look-a-like Contest...Who the HELL lied to these chicks! (Poor Nicki looks confused) Look at the piggly one on the right corner of the picture...SMDH! Which one of her friends was the one responsible for this crap? I blame them for letting her think she could pull this crap off.



 Nicki Minaj-ish?

NOOOOOOOOOOO Bitch! You DO NOT look like Ms. Minaj. You think that because you are wearing what you think is Nicki Minaj-ish, you look like her? FUCK NO! Not even close. I can tell you what you look like. You look like a fucking idiot!



The White Nicki: Caucasian Persuasion
FAIL!!!!

The White Nicki....Ok, so the white girl population has tried to join the festivities...Just one problem, this is a total FAIL!!!! This brawd looks like a total retard trying to fit in with the rest of the DUMB ASS Chicks that think they are in the "IN CROWD"

Here's my ULTIMATE Nicki Minaj FAILS!!!!!



Nicki Man-aj... =/

What in the Bloody FUCK was this NEGRO thinking? I'm guessing nothing, because he looks like a HOT ASS MESS!!!!Help him baby Jesus!

 WTF?! Big Nicki?!

This is killing me, just like Im sure it's killing you to even look at this Beached Whale in pink, thinking she look like Nicki Minaj. Nothing in the world wil help you look like Nicki Sweety....NADA!!!! Shamu looks like she swallowed Nicki and shitted this thing out! (Insert finger into mouth and gag now!) Now go kill yourself!



 Mirror image? I think not...

Just because you wear something close to what you saw Nicki wear once, does not give us the illusion that you lost weight bitch! You are still FAT!!!! This poor "Cat Suit" is scream for HELP! You look like you ate Nicki for lunch! Do us all a favor and disappear for even trying to wear this crap. My eyes hurts from trying not to go blind...Fucking HORRIBLE!



 And just like that (in my Nicki Minaj voice) "Yeah, I just shitted On'em"....

Pet Peeves: Drivers that don't use their turning signals....

Your daily dose of my bitching is on today....This is a head scratcher for me.

Why do cars have turning signal lights? I REALLY hope you guys now the answer to this....TO LET THE DRIVERS BEHIND YOU KNOW YOU ARE FREAKIN' TURNING!!!!! Why do we have people who insist on just turning on your lane without letting you know they are turning? WTF?! and this usually happens when you are trying to pass their slow asses...

Is it really that stinkin' hard to turn the turning signal lever either up or down? I mean its inches from the steering wheel. It drives me up the f***ing WALL!

Picture this; You're driving down a 2 lane highway, there a car on your right, about a car and a half distance from you. You step on the gas, just to go a bit faster because there is no one in front of you. The car on your right, just swoops in in front of you and SLOOOOOOOOOOOOWS DOOOOOOOOWN, all while NOT, I repeat, NOT turning his turning signal on and letting you know what he's about to do. The only thing you can think at that moment is "Why?! Why out of all the times this ignoramus wants to turn into the left lane, he wants to do it in front of you, and to top it off he wants to slow the fuck down.

Obviously, the instructor who passed you on your driving test is a raging moron, for letting you get your drivers license. I can understand if there is no one behind you, or to the side of you if you decide to just turn into the next lane, without using your turning signals. But to blantely just cut someone off, and then they look at you like you did something wrong...They need to be slapped, no better yet, their mommas need to be slapped for letting them be so damn stupid.

I believe trained monkeys can drive better than most people we have seen on the road. This is ridiculous. I'm sure this is the reason why we all see all kinds of cars all dinged and dented and scratched up. Because the owners of the cars, or maybe it was the driver next to then who decided it wasn't in their itinerary to use their FREAKING TURNING SIGNAL while they were driving.

Or, what about the idiot that uses his turning signal while turning? You fucking dumb ass!!!! The shit is suppose to be used at least a couple seconds before you turn, so that you can give everyone else a chance to prepare for your move...Or, the idiot who decides I have to turn into this driveway, but doesn't let anyone know he's about to stop in the middle of the road, and has a stockpile of cars behind him MAD AS SHIT because they missed their green light. All of these scenarios could have been avoided if, and only if the jackass would have used his turning signal on when he was suppose to.....I'm just saying!

Do you guys have a pet peeve, one of those "I wanna slap a bitch" moments every time you see it happen?
Share, I'm sure I made you laugh, or at least chuckle. I wanna laugh too....It's your turn.

Have a stress free and Pet Peeve-less day!

West Point Doctors are freakin' IDIOTS!!!! Trained Monkeys Can Do a Better Job!

So, being in the military we get a lot of perks i.e. Housing Allowance, money for food, live in the barracks (if you're single) Dental and Medical, and you get paid every 1st and 15th without fail. So, we should have no worries right? WRONG!!!!

These doctors I have to deal with are fucking MORONS!!! I'm sorry I cursed, but I'm upset right now. Here's my grip. How is it that I get an x-ray done a year ago on my shoulder because I was in pain. You would think that someone would look at the damn thing and figure out whats wrong with me right? WRONG! Here I am a year later, after physical therapy didn't do diddly squat, and I am still in pain! Why? you ask, because someone didn't do their damn job. I went to the physical therapy office yesterday because I need help with my shoulder. The doc looks at my x-ray and the notes and says I have a condition that is related to a Rotator Cuff tear.....All I can think at that moment was...."REALLY?! REALLY?! I took this x-ray almost a year ago, and now I am finding out about this?! WTF?! So, this entire time I have been working out, lifting, running, playing, using my damn shoulder, and I have a tear in my rotator cuff....This could have been taken care of a YEAR AGO!!!!!

I am FUMIN' right now! All I can do is wait to make a radiology appoint to be made, so that I can get an MRI done...Something that should have been done a YEAR AGO!!!! So, the outcome...I might have to get some kind of surgery, depending on how sever my shoulder issue is....

West Point Doctors are freaking IDIOTS! how hard is it for them to look at an x-ray when it is freshly taken, and tell the patient if they have a problem? I find all this shit out 2 months before I get out the Corps...Oh well, more money from the VA I guess.....

This is so damn FRUSTRATING!!!!!

Muffin Tops: Natures way of saying "You are to fat for those jeans!"

 Disclaimer:  If you get offended with anything that you are about to read....I might be talking about your big ass....LOL!!!!

MUFFIN TOPS: Natures Way Of "Nicely" Letting You Know "YOU ARE TO FAT FOR THOSE JEANS!"

Ok, so the warmer months (hopefully) are finally approaching and you know what that means people...We get to see people wear some shit they shouldn't be wearing....

Here's what the Urban dictionary defines a Muffin Top as;

When a woman wears a pair of tight jeans that makes her flab spill out over the waistband, just like the top of a muffin sits over the edge of the paper case.

If you look like any of these pictures YOU ARE WRONG!!!!! If you have friends that leave their house looking like this, and you didn't say anything to stop them...YOU ARE WRONG!!!!



I Love My Muffin Top....No One else does....

The classic big girl portrail..."Oh, I can fit into my old pre-baby jeans, let me squeeze my fat, out of shape ass into them."  GTFOH! No one wants to see that shit! Put some clothes that fit!

Its always the girl, who wears a size 16 that wants to squeeze her big ass into a size 6 jean....Really?! If your friends were REALLY your friends, they wouldn't let you out your house looking like a frozen biscut can that has popped in the middle....Just saying.

Muffin Top in a Skirt....You are NOT Britney Spears!

"It's NOT Britney Bitch!"....Yeah, the Skirt "MIGHT" be cute, but your excessive Muffin Top isn't! Come on girl! either buy a bigger sized skirt, or don't wear this shit at all....You are not back in HS where that school girl outfit actually fit your big ass...Stop kidding yourself, what are you trying to prove? Oh, I know what...that your are a dumb ass brawd, who thinks that anything she wears looks good on her....FUCK NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  No one wants to see that shit!!!! Put some clothes on that actually fit.

That's a Butterfly?! Looks like a dying Moth.....



That's a Butterfly?! Looks like a dying Moth. If you started off with your Tattoo looking like a cute little butterfly, and now looks like a dying moth...Your ass, probably 9 times out of 10, won't fit in the jeans you wore to get the tattoo...Wear jeans that fit bitch, or don't show off your butterfly/moth or whatever that thing on your back is....



Like I said before....If you look like anyone of these above, and even think for a split second that wearing tight, skimpy jeans, shorts, skirts, ect are cute on you...YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!

Have a blessed, and hopefully Muffin Top free day....=)



Gym Etiquette: What to Wear and NOT Wear: If You Don't Want to Be Satred At, Don't Wear The "F*** ME" Workout Clothes To The Gym.

I know, what you guy are thinking....Man, she writes about the gym a lot! I can't help that I see and hear some DUMB SH*T at the gym....

So by now, I am sure you guys have figured out that I go to the gym ALL THE TIME...I have seen & heard some stuff at the gym that just have to be shared.

So, I am walking in to the gym recently when I see a women complaining the staff about men that were staring at her while she was working out....Really lady?! That's your complaint? What the hell was she expecting when she was wearing something that looks like this to the gym?

Of course you are gonna have men that look like this O.o when you are in there damn near half naked. Now, don't get me wrong, You can wear whatever the hell you wanna wear to the gym, as long as you feel comfortable in it. This means, No complaining about people who stare for obvious reasons...I heard this lady say "I'm getting tired of all these nasty ass men staring at me while I workout. I want something done about it!" What exactly can this poor girl behind the counter do or say to the men, or women, at the gym to stop them from staring? NOT A DAMN THING!!!! Man! if that were me behind the counter, I would have been like "Ma'am with all due respect. If really don't want men, or women, to stare at you while you are working out, wear something other than what you are wearing now." I'm sure I would have been written up, or even fired, but let it be known....she would have known about herself that day.

If you don't want or like the attention, wear a f***ing muumuu then. That sounds about right, right? Tell me how stupid does this sounds....A hooker says "Please, don't look at me." But the bitch is out on the street at 3 in the morning, with some 6in "F*** Me" heels, fishnets, no underwear, and dress that a self respecting stripper wouldn't wear. LOL!!!! If you wear the clothes, you will be STARED AT!!!!!

Don't expect for people not to look like this O.o the second you walk by, when you are half naked in the gym.

This topic drives me insane!!! It really Grinds my Gears...LOL!!!

I hope you all have a great and pleasant day...

Gym: Class Room Etiquette...What do you mean, Im standing in "YOUR" spot? GTFOH!

I know, I know..I haven't written a blog in a couple of days....I've been pretty freakin' busy lately, but Im BACK!!!!!!!!!

As a lot of you know, I don't mess around when it comes to my Zumba class on Wednesday's and Sunday's...This class is really popular, the instructor is really good. It's so bad, that if the instructor doesnt show up without telling us he wont be there women damn near form a riot...SMDH!

I go to my Zumba class religiously, and I see and hear the dumbest crap at this class...for example, I get to my class a bit earlier than usual. I find a spot, and start stretching. A lady comes in and says "You're standing in my spot." I looked around and look back at her and said "I don't see your name anywhere around this "spot" after that I continued stretching. This lady says that I needed to move because this is the spot where she always stands. I was like "Well, I got here before you did, and since I pay a monthly fee just like everybody else, I wasn't moving." and after that comment, I continued stretching...LOL!!! I wish you guys could have seen this woman's face...O.o...everyone else around us was either snickering or laughing....After the lady saw that I wasn't going to move, she reluctanly moved as far away from me as possible. Other women came up to me and congratulated me and said "Thank you! You are the only and first person to ever stand up to her about that." I said "Really?! I would have thought someone else would have done the same thing."  I dont back down from anyone, especially over a "Spot" bully....GTFOH! I turned Dee-bo on that ass...."What you got on my "spot" punk?!" LOL! Sorry I had a moment....

GTFOH with that BS....I pay my money just like everyone else...I have never heard of having a "spot" in a gym class room...I aint movin' if you want your "spot" you better get there before I do, because if not...you are SOL with my ass....

There goes my daily rant...Share your gym class story...I need a laugh....Untit tomorrow

If you can't drive on wet pavement and you are old as fuck....GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD & OUT OF MY WAY!!!

      Alright, so I'm sure those of you who drive will understand where I am coming from with this...People who can't drive in the rain, I am saying this as nice as I can, please....GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY!
      Why is it that as soon as the road gets even the slightest droplet of rain....some people want to start driving slow as all hell?! Like they have never seen rain before, I mean, the speed limit is 45mph! The car wont all of a sudden just skid off the road if you are going the speed limit. GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY! I got places to be, and people to see....
      I just hate it (with a passion) when I get stuck behind some old fuck who thinks that going 20 in a 40 mph zone is acceptable in the freakin rain, especially if it's just DRIZZLE!!!!! UGH! it just irks the bejeezus outta me....(GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY!)
      I wish ya'll could see me in my car...LOL!!! I mean, I start spazzin' the frrrrruck out! I start bangin' on my steering wheel, cussin' the mofo in front of me the FUCK OUT!!!! I start sounding like Luda...."MOVE, Bitch, get out the way...Get out the way bitch, get out the way!" I know some of ya'll are laughing, but Im dead ass serious! I really hate it when I'm stuck behind one of these none-driving, paranoid asses and I'm trying to get somewhere....It really feels like it's being done on purpose =/ I'm like REALLY, REALLY! you can't get on to the other lane fucker! MOVE....OMG!
      I sometime have to seriously calm my self down...I remember I am in the car with a baby (most of the time) and I have to make sure that I am vigilant to the rest of the road....Because its not just the idiot in front of me that I have to worry about, it's also all the other "fuck tards" that are out there I have to keep aneye on...
      And another thing! Why are there 98 year men and women still DRIVING! If your steering wheel is crushing your chest, if it looks like if you sneeze your face will hit the wind shield, your glasses are as thick as the bottom of  coke bottles, you need assistance walking and/or pooping...Im sure it is safe to assume you do not need to be driving yourself anywhere. There is no such hurry for you in the world for your old ass to be driving!...I mean, if you need help wiping your ass, Im sure you can find someone who is capable of driving to get you where you need to go.....
      Ok, I feel better now...LOL!!!! If you have a story you would like to share...Pleae do, I need the laughs today...I hope you have enjoyed my random rant of the day....

Gym Locker Room Etiquette....At least put a towel around your naked ass!

So, I go to the gym EVERYDAY!!!!  I go during chow, so this means I shower at the gym, before I head back to work...

I see things in the gym locker room, that no one should have to see...Here's my horrifying story...

SO, I finished my workout, and head to the locker room to get myself ready for a quick shower. As, I am walking into the locker room I see a fairly older lady coming out of the shower booty ass naked! Not even a towel in hand or anything (REALLY!)....(insert finger into mouth and make yourself gag now!) I see this and the first thing I think to myself is why don't you have a towel wrapped around your wrinkled old ass? Why in the bloody hell do you think anyone else would want to see your "pancake ass" naked? I mean, I don't know about anyone out there, but me, I make sure to take all my stuff with me to the shower stall i.e. new underwear, bra, soap, flip flops, and most important my TOWEL!!!! I leave that stall half way dressed, and my towel wrapped around me.

So the story gets better....She gets to her bag and bends over! I'll repeat this....BENDS OVER! I'm like, seriously lady, wrap a towel around your flabby ass, no one wanna see that shit!...

I know that it's a locker room, I completely understand this...but, COME ON SON! I, personally will not/would not walk around the damn locker room butt ass naked for all the world to see my Dominican Goodies because I am in a room with just women. The only place I did that was in Marine Corps Boot Camp, and that's only because I had no choice.

I'm sure I am not the only one that has experience or have seen some nasty shit like this....I had to share my gag moment of the day...LOL!

If you have a  horrifying gym locker room story....Please share, I would love the laughs....