Adventurous ME!

So, as I told you guys before, the McCord Family is in Minneapolis, MN for Christmas (The husbands fam lives here). Anyway, the next day after we get here (Christmas Eve, today) we go to the Mall of America. The only part I actually look forward to. We shop some, then we go eat (Dick's Last Resort) great place to go with a group of people, REALLY fun =) Then after that, I decided I wanted to be a bit daring. I was going to get my tongue pierced. As I said this out loud, my husband looked at me like I was crazy. I said, "Yep! I'm gonna do it." All he kept saying to me was "I'm gonna laugh at you when you start sounding like...Thith Thucks."

So we walk into the piercing place, and I pick out the tongue ring (a deep purple rod), read & signed some papers,and headed to the back where the piercing was gonna take place.

I sit on the bed that's back there, and I start asking the girl questions...Stuff that I was curious about, and more to keep my nerves down. The girl hands me a small cup with some mouth wash, I spit that out. Then she asks me to stick my tongue out as far as I can, I do. She hands me some hand towels, in case I drool, and with the other paper towel she wipes my tongue off. She gets a set of tongs with holes in it to let the needle thru. She presses on the tongs pretty hard. Then she tells me, "Take a deep breathe, I do. Then she says "let all the breathe out, now." I do as I am told, and just as I let the air out, the needle goes thru my poor tongue. I'm not gonna lie, I let out a little yelp. But, I didn't cry like my husband thought i was gonna do. I might be a punk, but I'm not that big of a punk...SHEESH!

I didn't cry, and I got a new piece of hardware...LOL! I wont be able to talk right for about a week (I hope) and I wont be able to drink alcohol for 72 hours, but I at least got something I always said I wanted to get.

This is gonna suck though, I'm starting to feel this thing...

Family Christmas Road Trip...update

So the McCord family is in route to Minneapolis, MN (Blah!) for Christmas break. We stopped the nite at a friends house in Chicago....More to the road trip, but I'll post that a later time. Right now it is mimi time for this girl. Catch you guys later!

Nastiness @ The Gym Locker Room

I’m in the locker room changing after a grueling 2 hour cardio workout kill session. And a lady, who had just finished using the shower, comes and stands behind me. I’m using the mirror, this means, I can see her, but she can’t see me. She takes her towel off and she’s butt naked! She turns her back to me, so in the mirror I see her ass is just ALL OUT! 0.o…I almost choked on my own spit after seeing that BS!!!

Face of UTTER DISGUST!!!

I look away, cause that crap caught me off guard! I look back thinking she’s done …Man was I WROOOOONG! Some how she thought it was a good idea to dress from the top down (Who does that?) anyway, This lady is bent over, still no panties on! Her ass was hairy as shit! Can you understand the horror I felt when I saw the crack of an overly wrinkled white lady’s ass?! You guys DO know what happens when you bend over, RIGHT? If you don’t know, I’ll tell you…Your ass cheeks spread the fuck apart! This fucking woman bent over, with no underwear on!!!!!! At that moment, all I could muster was a gasp. This bitch made me cough HARD! What I really wanted to do was yell out “WTF?! Stand the FUCK up! No one wants to see that shit!” I’m so fucking grossed out! I’m pissed off now.

HAIRY ASS!

Now I have to live with that nasty ass picture etched in my brain-housing-group, for the REST of my life =(……I might have nightmares tonight. This fucking sux!

After my intial shock...Total FUCKERY!!!

Please don't get me wrong....I know that the locker room is meant for changing clothes, quick showers, ect, ect...But there is such a thing as common sense. Put your damn underwear on before you walk into the common area....Ok Im done. Just straight up Fuckery!

I am NOT a Robot....

I’m usually an outspoken, happy person. But, once in a purple moon I would wake up mad at the world, and really don’t feel like being bothered. Is that wrong? If I am, then oh well…
For some reason, I’m not allowed to have feelings. I’m suppose to be a well oiled machine that doesn’t have any kind of emotions. I’m not allowed to be happy, sad, irate, etc, etc…I’m suppose to take shit and not respond to that shit. I’m suppose to just let shit happen, and eat the results with a fucking spoon. While everyone else in life walks around and vents their issues (good, or bad) to the world without anyone telling them to shut up. Why do I have to suck it up with a straw? Why do I have to sit there and take it?
No! I’m done shutting up, and keeping it to myself. I’m done watching and letting shit just happen, and not doing anything about it. And you don’t like it…Well, so sorry for you. If I am mad, you will know. If I am happy, you will know. And if I am IRATE! you will definitely know!
Let the past be the past? How can I do that when the past is always in my fucking face?! How can something be forgotten, if you are constantly reminded of it?
I am human…I will continue to have feelings…LIVE WITH IT!

Extreme Diets are not for everyone

So, I tried going thru this extreme diet with my husband. I figured, well I can do it with him and support him and I will lose weight in the process. I couldn’t hang. I folded like a piece of paper. I GAVE UP before the day was over. I feel so horrible right now, I feel like such a loser. I let myself down, and most of all I feel like I let my husband down =(.

So, this is what my day started like;

0700: Three hard-boiled eggs (eating only the whites)

1100: Half of a chicken breast (seasoned with Lemon pepper, nothing more)

1430: Same thing as 1100….

By this time, I’m moving in auto-pilot ‘cause my body was so drained. It felt like I had a whole in the pit of my stomach. I got moody really quick. I had a headache from hell, and everything got REALLY annoying =/. I knew I had to stop when I wanted to snap on my baby. She wasn’t doing anything but her usual “Mami, I’m hungry” cry when I wanted to scream at her.

My husband knew it was time for me to quit when he took one look at me and saw that I was MISERABLE! He told me that as long as I do another diet while he’s on his, he’ll be happy. So, that’s what I’m doing. Starting tomorrow, I’m on my protein shake diet, for a week.

Wish me luck guys, I’m gonna need it.

Get Off My Bus Now!

As written on 12 Nov 2008


Get Off My Bus Now!

... It was about one in the morning on a cold January night, almost nine years ago, 50 other kids and I who had been up since six in the morning the day before, anticipated our arrival to MCRD Parris Island, SC. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. I was too excited, or maybe I was nervous, to tell you the truth, I don’t know what I was feeling. I knew that when the door to that bus opened, my life would change forever.

Females are sitting in the first five rows of the bus, while the males are occupying the rear. We aren’t allowed to speak to one another; so naturally, we pass each other notes without the bus driver knowing, “Where are you from?” and “What’s your name?” were among some questions asked. What do you expect from a bunch of teenagers straight out of High School? We know that this is the last time we will sit next to, speak to, or even fathom the idea of being in the same space with the opposite sex for the next 12 weeks. So we take the chance of getting yelled at by the driver.

As I sit on the bus in my own little world, I see my life flash before my eyes. I see myself getting up in the morning to get ready for school, I see my mom getting my little brother and sisters something to eat, and I hear my friends, Judy and Artemise, asking “How was you weekend Denise?” This is scary to me, not only because I saw what my past was like, but because I couldn’t see what my future held. I am 18 years old, and don’t know anything outside of New York City. I grew up there, and it is where all my friends and family are. My whole life was over 500 miles away but, I keep telling myself that this was the first step to becoming a grown up. I needed to break free, like a baby bird leaving the nest and learning how to fly. At least, that is what I keep repeating over and over again in my head, so as not to freak out.

I look up, from my self-induced trance, at the digital clock on the dashboard of the bus, and find out that only five minutes have passed. The bus driver shifts his weight on his chair, and looks at his watch. I see his eyes in the rear view mirror, watching our every move as to see who he would tell on to the Drill Instructor who will greet us at arrival.

Another five minutes pass by, and by this time I am really antsy. I shift in my seat, fiddling with my thumbs, and tapping my feet in an un-rhythmic tap tap tap on the floor. “I hope I’m not upsetting the girl sitting next to me”, I think to myself. So, I decide to stop my fidgeting to make sure I am not disturbing anyone around me.

I look up again, but this time the entire bus explodes into movement. I find out that we are almost there. I can see the entrance to my “new home” about a quarter of a mile away. As the MCRD Parris Island sign comes closer into view, my heart feels like it’s about to pop out of my chest. My breathing feels heavy and my palms get really sweaty. I know that the end of my old life is near and a fresh new one is about to start. Did I make the right choice? Do I really want to do this? Is it to late to turn back? All of these questions rush into my head, I thought I was prepared for what is about to come, but I realize that you can’t be prepared for the unknown.

The bus comes to a sudden stop, the door opens, and nothing happens. For a minute we sit. It feels like an eternity, you can hear a pin drop. Suddenly, a woman climbs on to the bus and stands in front of us. She has on a khaki shirt, a pair of green trousers, a black shiny belt, and a hat that looks like the one Smokey Bear wears. She was intimidating to look at, especially since I can’t see her eyes. She opens her mouth and her voice is like a volcano eruption. “Get Off my Bus Now! And step on my yellow foot prints! Quickly! Quickly!” We don’t want to upset her, so we obey as quickly as possible. She stands in front of us like she was some kind of superhero and says these words:

“You are now aboard Marine Recruiting Depot Parris Island, SC. You have taken the first step to becoming a member of the world’s finest fighting force, the United States Marine Corps. The Marine Corps success depends upon team work. Therefore, team work will be a central part of your training here at Parris Island. You will live, breathe, sleep and train as a team. The words: I, Me, or My will no longer be a part of your vocabulary. You will use words such as: This recruit, that recruit, these recruits. Do you understand?”

We all answered in unison “Yes ma’am!”

“Tens of thousands of Marines have begun outstanding service to our country on these very foot prints in which you stand today. You will carry on that proud tradition. Do you understand?” We as a newly formed family, answer again “Yes ma’am!”



Life did change, and for the better. I have grown into a more confidant, independent, strong willed woman. If it wasn’t for me getting on that bus that night, I don’t know what my present day life would be like. I didn’t realize it right then and there, but “Get off My Bus Now!” meant welcome to your new life.

Other People's Children....make me wanna smack someone!

People with bad ass kids, we all know them, at least I know One or two sets of people. I know someone whos' kids be beating on a friend of mines walls like they were the last drum set on earth. She has to beat on her living room and kitchen walls to let her dumb-ass know that the running around and beating on the walls is starting to driving her up the fucking wall! When they are upstairs, Im surprised that the living room ceiling fan hasn't fallen on them while they are in the family room watching TV at night.

It's 11pm lady! WHAT THE FUCK are your 4 yr old, and 14 month old still doing up?! My kid is in bed, asleep or awake, by 7:45pm....I need my damn sanity sometime during the day dammit! A kid is a freakin' kid!  I'll be damned if my kid is gonna be running around like a damn maniac in my house at 11pm like she ain't got no damn sense.

I know, I cant be the only one who thinks this....You are out and about in a mall and you see a bad ass kid running a damn fool, you think to yourself "Where is this kids funky ass mama?" "Why isn't this kid getting his/her ass beat?" Then the mom appears and the only thing out of her stupid mouth is "If you don't stop right now, you're going to get a time out when we get home." GTFOH lady!!!! Whoop that kids ASS! Shoot, I'll do it for you....Maybe I can whoop your ass too, for being so damn stupid! Here I have an idea, I'll give him timeout to pick up his damn teeth, or maybe time out to take my foot out his ass....Is that "TIME OUT" enough for you. 

Or what about the kids who scream from the time they walk into the store and stop when they walk out? I feel like screaming in the parents face, just so they can see how it feels to hear screaming non-stop! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, BITCH! You like that trash! Calm your kids ass right fucking now!

Shit! My parents use to embarrass the hell out of me or my brother when we did something out of place. And it didn't matter where we were. Church, the park, in front of the cops! Nowhere was safe...punk ass parents today make me SICK!

What kills me about these DUMB ASS people is that they get mad when they hear someone say something about their bad ass kid/s.....You mad because you know its the truth. Knock your kids ass around a bit, and maybe, just maybe you wont hear people talk about your bad ass kid anymore =/...Don't get mad when you over hear someone say that kid is freaking ridiculous! Where is his mom when she needs to be around? WTF?! Why is he digging holes in your front yard? Why is he pulling thats baby's hair? Why is his knee on his baby brothers head? Why did he punch that boy in the crotch? AND WHY O' WHY....Is he outside his house at 6am in his underwear down the street in someone else's house?!

I feel like drop kicking people, or going straight Marine Corps on some nasty ass people with no damn discipline....Get some fucking discipline in your life, and maybe, just maybe that will rub off on your kids....Fucking JACKWAGONS!

Carry On readers, Carry On.

This boy slapped his momma! I would not be breathing, if this were me....

Now, while watching this video I know you guys are laughing pretty hard....but going straight to the heart of this video...If anyone of you were to even THINK about slapping your mom-dukes, I'm sure you would have been dead, I mean...She would be digging up your grave after she killed you....No lie. This kid didn't even think twice before before puttin' his hand up and slapping his mom. It's like it was a normal thing to do in his house.

Now, I don't know if I should be mad at the kid for slapping her, or should I be mad at the mom for not even reacting to the slap...Man! If this were me, I would have snatched up this kid so fast, he wouldn't know what the hell happened...My hand would have been so far up his ass he would have been my ventriloquist puppet....I'm being really honest right now. This kid would think three times before even thinking about some bullsh!t like this...

This is what this kid would look like after I was done with his ass

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't condon violence, especially towards kids...BUT, If a kid wanna act grown, best believe he will be dealt with like he were grown...I would have smacked the SH!T outta this kid!

I think I have said my piece on this matter...What do you guys think about this situation? Am I wrong for saying what I am saying, it's my opinion....But, I'm wondering what you guys think....

Have a great and Slap-free day! =)

Have a badass kid? Spank'em...I won't judge

We don't die, we just multiply!

It's been a couple days since my last blog...Sorry! been kinda busy, I do have a life too...LOL!!!! But, I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

Have you ever witnessed this at a mall, or a store?

Kid: Mommy, can I get this Lego Set? PLEASE!!!!!
Mom: For the last time, I said no. You have 3 other sets at home that you haven't even touched yet.
Kid: But, I REALLY need this one.
Mom: Just like you "needed" the last 3 Lego sets you wanted....I said NO!
(this is where it gets interesting)
Kid: YOU FUCKING BITCH! I FUCKING HATE YOU!
Mom: wait til we get home....(in between her gritted teeth)

Man! GTFOH!!! If that were me, that this kid would have been snatched up so quick by his/her ear they wouldn't have known what just happened. I would have embarrassed the hell out of him/her, they would think twice about doing some sh!t like that.

Spankin's are a way of letting the kid now, hey it's not a good idea to piss mommy or daddy off. If I do, my ass will get a good whack. Now, I know some think that whoopin' your kids ass is the best thing...there I disagree! Squaring off like you are about to have a heavy weight match with your kid is a bit much, I think.

Here's an example of a spankin':

Kid crosses the street by himself. You, as the parent, are very upset with him. You tell him (more like a yell, not a scream) tell him why it wasn't a good idea to cross the street by himself, turn him around in the process of yelling and pop him in the butt hard enough for him to feel a bit of pain, and at the same time embarrass him in front of everyone. I'm pretty sure he will think twice about crossing the street again. That's a spankin'...a little discomfort.

Here's an example of a beat down:

Same kid crosses the street, but instead of you popping him on the butt, you straight up lose your damn mind and punch him in the face, take a belt and leave belt prints on the poor childs back...That's what I call ridiculous!

Ignorance that's what I call senseless beating on a child. "That's how I got raised." is usually what you hear from someone....You are right, but you can also change the way it was done. You don't have to go and whoop your kids ass, because he touched a bag of candy in the store. Come on now...I think that's a bit much. There are other ways to get your point across....If there is no other way for you to speak to your child other than hurting them....This is the reason why we have kids that turn to criminals when they become teens and adults, they don't respect authority, they think it's a joke. I was afraid of my parents, yes, but I also respected them...to a certain extent, but I won't get into that right now.

Fear, works with kids for a little bit, but remember....those little boogers grow up, and you become old, what do you think is gonna happen when you need help with whipping your ass? Either a nursing home where they won't visit you, just leave you there, or they could beat you senseless too....Some people are evil like that.

Don't be afraid to spank your kid/s if they need to be spanked...Shot! If Dysis acts out, you best believe she getting a good whackin' no matter where we are...She'll think twice before she acts out again....

What are your guy's thoughts on the issue?

Where is this kids' momma?!

Fuck you mommy!!!!



What NOT to wear: Prom Edition

The Royal Idiots!

Prom season is right around the corner, and if you remember around this time you were trying to find that "Right" dress/suit for the BIG NIGHT. You wanted to make sure that you and your date were going to stand out from the rest of the crowd. These outfits were gonna be the talk of the prom and for years to come. That's all fine and dandy, but some people took that sh!t to the EXTREME! and when I say extreme, I mean WAY OUT THERE...


Don't believe me? Here are some examples....Fair warning, what you are about to see WILL cause uncontrollable laughter....You have been warned.

OHHHHHHHHH! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Spongebob Square STUPID!....Apparently this dumb ass bitch! One question though...Where's the man of the hour? Where's Spongebob? I bet the poor soul who asked this chick to the prom took one look at this bullsh!t she calls a dress and said something like this "Ummm, yeah about prom night, I won't be able to make it...I have to shave my nuts that night. Sorry. Maybe some other time." And walks the fuck off! LOOK.....She even has the matching purse to go with the dress...Only God knows what this poor child was thinking when she thought that this was a good idea....(in my Kevin Hart voice) Help her baby Jesus!


Sesame Street had a Prom?  

Unless your date to the prom is going to Big Bird, you should NEVER! EVER, NEVER! Think that wearing this is a good idea. I would never suggest this atrocity of a dress to a Muppet, let alone a living breathing person. The person who even put this dress idea on paper should be strangled with the fabric with which this dress was made on the spot!

Easter Egg Inspiration? Maybe?

 I guess these two Dodo Birds thought that by wearing these "things" they call dresses, that they would look hot. Well, they got one thing right, they look like a "HOT ASS MESS!" These two fools look like the Easter bunny had eaten bad Easter eggs for lunch, and he threw up all over their stupid asses. Their moms should be slapped for even letting their daughter leave the house looking like this...

Related to Sisqo?

By looking at this picture can you hear this in your head....
"Ooh dat dress so scandalous
And ya know another nigga couldn't handle it
See ya shakin that thang like who's da ish
With a look in ya eye so devilish"
No? I guess, I'm the only one then...I wonder why?

Going out in total FAIL fashion

Baby's first Prom...They gotta start somewhere, right?

Do I even have to comment on this one? WTF is NOT wrong with this picture...I'm lost for words, I have no comment. Insert your own comment, I'm sure anything you say will be funny as all hell....Oh and another thing, Can anybody PLEASE help me? Can anyone figure out what the hell the bottom arrow is pointing at? I'm confused. I don't like being confused =(


Baby, Baby!

"I love it when they call me Big Momma!" Biggy came back in female form...LOL! Sorry, I had to take it there....And what the hell were the goof troops on the right side of this picture thinking when they picked out these outfits? They would win the best dressed Smurfs contest, for SURE!

I didn't know HBO had Proms

(In my Michael Buffer voice) In the Left corner we have The Red Bandits, and in the Right Corner we have The Purple Guppies...When the FUCK did hoodies become prom fashionable? I wonder who came up with the idea for this mess?! I'm sure that if I turn my TV on to Friday Night Fights on HBO we would see all these (in my John McCord voice) Tard Flakes on the screen...

Since I know some of you guys that read this have kids....One day your kids will go to High School and that glamorous day will rear its ugly head...I really hope you can remember this post and the pictures in it. Know what NOT to let your kids wear to a formal outing, you can be sure that they will go down in history as the idiot that showed up to the Prom looking like a freaking idiot!

Have a blessed day everyone....

A public apology...

I know there is something called freedom of speech, but because its out there, it doesn't mean I have the right to write something and potentially upset a close friend....

The "Fat Friend" post has been taken down for obvious reasons. I was slapped in the face (not literally) with friends disgust for the issue. Once, I realized how upset some people were with the post, I became upset with myself for even writing and posting the Blog up.

I have no excuse for my actions. I am really upset that I have upset friends with my crude humour. I have apologized personally to two people who were hurt, in one way or the other. Now, I am apologizing to everyone else who might have take offense to my stupidity.

Once again, I am sorry...And next time I will think twice before posting something that might be offensive to others.

Have a great day everyone....

Have nasty, crusty feet?! Keep them sh!ts to yourself!!!!!

The summer is around the corner, and clothes are becoming more scarce on the human body. Shorts, navel showing shirts, and the feet are starting to come out too...Here's my problem, if your feet look like you spend your days kicking rocks for a living...You need not be wearing ANY KIND of open toed shoes...ANY KIND!

I know you guys have been walking down the street or in a store, and while looking down you have seen some shit that made you GAG! Come to find out, that what you have just seen were someones FEET! Here are some examples of what I am talking about....

 Rock Star?

These feet are what my lil sister would call "FRRRRRUCKED!" You can forget about the Pedegg, a Personal Foot Spa, an Electric Wood Shaver, Sh!t you can't pay the local nail shop enough money to put their hands on these nasty looking things this person calls "feet"...There is no Pedicure in the world! That can help these God forsaken dawgs out. My suggestion, Cut these suckers off at the root and get you some new ones! Help this person Baby Jesus!

Did these shoes call for an order of Bunions?!

If your feet have that what people call "Bunions" DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT wear open toed ANYTHING! Look at this chicks feet...It looks like she growing baby toes...Fucking NASTY!!!! I can completely understand if you want to be up on the latest fashions, but COME ON SON! If your feet look this fucked up! You shouldn't even be walking with them, let alone put them out for the WHOLE WORLD TO SEE!!!!!



WTF?!

Why, Oh Why....Just why?! That's all that comes out of my mouth why I see this? Who in the BLOODY HELLLLLLLLL! Let this bitch walk out her house, with her feet out?! Better yet, Why in God's green earth did anyone let this girl buy these sandals in the first place?! I don't give two flying squirrel nuts what anyone says! Why is this bitch walking around with STUBS for toes, and showing them off like they cute? On top of that, Doesn't it look like she's flipping you off with her DAMNED feet? Whoever let their 'friend" out looking like a damn fool, needs to be SHOT on the spot! At least the one toe nail that she has on each foot is taken care of....

Are Those Fingers or Toes? Im confused O.o
FAIL!!!

I know, we have all seen this sh!t once or twice in our lives....Riddle me this, Why does this chick insist on trying to fit her size 13 foot, into this size 6 shoe? Did she REALLY think that no one was gonna see this mess?! Your feet are too big, Your toes are to damn long (looking like she has fingers instead of toes)....Looking like a (in my John McCord voice)  FUCKING TURD NUGGET! Stop trying to convince yourself that you can fit these shoes hoe! You know you haven't worn a size 6 since the 4th Grade! I bet you are related to the Yeti...Big Footed as BITCH! Go kill yourself for even attempting to fool people....DUMB ASS BITCH!!!!

Here's my deal, if your feet look like they got ran over by a frieght train, or they look like you play soccer with boulders...You really shouldn't, I can't stress this enough, be showing off those things you call feet. I would perfer to call them "Ankle Stubs"....Just a suggestion, but what do I know, RIGHT?

Have a blessed, and Ugly Feet free day!



Someone, PLEASE! come up with a cure for Dumbass-itis! You don't look and will NEVER look like Nicki Minaj!



"It's NOT Barbie Bitch"



Nicki Minaj, the self proclaimed Black Barbie has created a wave of Minaj wannabes....There is an epidemic people keep yourselves protected...It seems contagious!



Why do we have a gang of females trying to dress, and act like Nicki? They definitely DO NOT look like Nicki...Last Halloween was freakin' ridiculous! I saw, Black girls, White girls, Hispanic girls, shoot I even saw men dressing up like her...

Here are a couple of examples....

Why in the world would I want to look like this? Nicki, I love some of your music, but you look like a walking push pop. WTF?! were you thinking when you decided to wear this mess of a wardrobe? The Pink beehive wig, with the purple martian-woman get up really?!

Nicki Minaj: The Human Popsicle.

Nicki Look-a-likes? What's wrong with this picture?

Nicki Minaj's Look-a-like Contest...Who the HELL lied to these chicks! (Poor Nicki looks confused) Look at the piggly one on the right corner of the picture...SMDH! Which one of her friends was the one responsible for this crap? I blame them for letting her think she could pull this crap off.



 Nicki Minaj-ish?

NOOOOOOOOOOO Bitch! You DO NOT look like Ms. Minaj. You think that because you are wearing what you think is Nicki Minaj-ish, you look like her? FUCK NO! Not even close. I can tell you what you look like. You look like a fucking idiot!



The White Nicki: Caucasian Persuasion
FAIL!!!!

The White Nicki....Ok, so the white girl population has tried to join the festivities...Just one problem, this is a total FAIL!!!! This brawd looks like a total retard trying to fit in with the rest of the DUMB ASS Chicks that think they are in the "IN CROWD"

Here's my ULTIMATE Nicki Minaj FAILS!!!!!



Nicki Man-aj... =/

What in the Bloody FUCK was this NEGRO thinking? I'm guessing nothing, because he looks like a HOT ASS MESS!!!!Help him baby Jesus!

 WTF?! Big Nicki?!

This is killing me, just like Im sure it's killing you to even look at this Beached Whale in pink, thinking she look like Nicki Minaj. Nothing in the world wil help you look like Nicki Sweety....NADA!!!! Shamu looks like she swallowed Nicki and shitted this thing out! (Insert finger into mouth and gag now!) Now go kill yourself!



 Mirror image? I think not...

Just because you wear something close to what you saw Nicki wear once, does not give us the illusion that you lost weight bitch! You are still FAT!!!! This poor "Cat Suit" is scream for HELP! You look like you ate Nicki for lunch! Do us all a favor and disappear for even trying to wear this crap. My eyes hurts from trying not to go blind...Fucking HORRIBLE!



 And just like that (in my Nicki Minaj voice) "Yeah, I just shitted On'em"....

Pet Peeves: Drivers that don't use their turning signals....

Your daily dose of my bitching is on today....This is a head scratcher for me.

Why do cars have turning signal lights? I REALLY hope you guys now the answer to this....TO LET THE DRIVERS BEHIND YOU KNOW YOU ARE FREAKIN' TURNING!!!!! Why do we have people who insist on just turning on your lane without letting you know they are turning? WTF?! and this usually happens when you are trying to pass their slow asses...

Is it really that stinkin' hard to turn the turning signal lever either up or down? I mean its inches from the steering wheel. It drives me up the f***ing WALL!

Picture this; You're driving down a 2 lane highway, there a car on your right, about a car and a half distance from you. You step on the gas, just to go a bit faster because there is no one in front of you. The car on your right, just swoops in in front of you and SLOOOOOOOOOOOOWS DOOOOOOOOWN, all while NOT, I repeat, NOT turning his turning signal on and letting you know what he's about to do. The only thing you can think at that moment is "Why?! Why out of all the times this ignoramus wants to turn into the left lane, he wants to do it in front of you, and to top it off he wants to slow the fuck down.

Obviously, the instructor who passed you on your driving test is a raging moron, for letting you get your drivers license. I can understand if there is no one behind you, or to the side of you if you decide to just turn into the next lane, without using your turning signals. But to blantely just cut someone off, and then they look at you like you did something wrong...They need to be slapped, no better yet, their mommas need to be slapped for letting them be so damn stupid.

I believe trained monkeys can drive better than most people we have seen on the road. This is ridiculous. I'm sure this is the reason why we all see all kinds of cars all dinged and dented and scratched up. Because the owners of the cars, or maybe it was the driver next to then who decided it wasn't in their itinerary to use their FREAKING TURNING SIGNAL while they were driving.

Or, what about the idiot that uses his turning signal while turning? You fucking dumb ass!!!! The shit is suppose to be used at least a couple seconds before you turn, so that you can give everyone else a chance to prepare for your move...Or, the idiot who decides I have to turn into this driveway, but doesn't let anyone know he's about to stop in the middle of the road, and has a stockpile of cars behind him MAD AS SHIT because they missed their green light. All of these scenarios could have been avoided if, and only if the jackass would have used his turning signal on when he was suppose to.....I'm just saying!

Do you guys have a pet peeve, one of those "I wanna slap a bitch" moments every time you see it happen?
Share, I'm sure I made you laugh, or at least chuckle. I wanna laugh too....It's your turn.

Have a stress free and Pet Peeve-less day!

West Point Doctors are freakin' IDIOTS!!!! Trained Monkeys Can Do a Better Job!

So, being in the military we get a lot of perks i.e. Housing Allowance, money for food, live in the barracks (if you're single) Dental and Medical, and you get paid every 1st and 15th without fail. So, we should have no worries right? WRONG!!!!

These doctors I have to deal with are fucking MORONS!!! I'm sorry I cursed, but I'm upset right now. Here's my grip. How is it that I get an x-ray done a year ago on my shoulder because I was in pain. You would think that someone would look at the damn thing and figure out whats wrong with me right? WRONG! Here I am a year later, after physical therapy didn't do diddly squat, and I am still in pain! Why? you ask, because someone didn't do their damn job. I went to the physical therapy office yesterday because I need help with my shoulder. The doc looks at my x-ray and the notes and says I have a condition that is related to a Rotator Cuff tear.....All I can think at that moment was...."REALLY?! REALLY?! I took this x-ray almost a year ago, and now I am finding out about this?! WTF?! So, this entire time I have been working out, lifting, running, playing, using my damn shoulder, and I have a tear in my rotator cuff....This could have been taken care of a YEAR AGO!!!!!

I am FUMIN' right now! All I can do is wait to make a radiology appoint to be made, so that I can get an MRI done...Something that should have been done a YEAR AGO!!!! So, the outcome...I might have to get some kind of surgery, depending on how sever my shoulder issue is....

West Point Doctors are freaking IDIOTS! how hard is it for them to look at an x-ray when it is freshly taken, and tell the patient if they have a problem? I find all this shit out 2 months before I get out the Corps...Oh well, more money from the VA I guess.....

This is so damn FRUSTRATING!!!!!

Muffin Tops: Natures way of saying "You are to fat for those jeans!"

 Disclaimer:  If you get offended with anything that you are about to read....I might be talking about your big ass....LOL!!!!

MUFFIN TOPS: Natures Way Of "Nicely" Letting You Know "YOU ARE TO FAT FOR THOSE JEANS!"

Ok, so the warmer months (hopefully) are finally approaching and you know what that means people...We get to see people wear some shit they shouldn't be wearing....

Here's what the Urban dictionary defines a Muffin Top as;

When a woman wears a pair of tight jeans that makes her flab spill out over the waistband, just like the top of a muffin sits over the edge of the paper case.

If you look like any of these pictures YOU ARE WRONG!!!!! If you have friends that leave their house looking like this, and you didn't say anything to stop them...YOU ARE WRONG!!!!



I Love My Muffin Top....No One else does....

The classic big girl portrail..."Oh, I can fit into my old pre-baby jeans, let me squeeze my fat, out of shape ass into them."  GTFOH! No one wants to see that shit! Put some clothes that fit!

Its always the girl, who wears a size 16 that wants to squeeze her big ass into a size 6 jean....Really?! If your friends were REALLY your friends, they wouldn't let you out your house looking like a frozen biscut can that has popped in the middle....Just saying.

Muffin Top in a Skirt....You are NOT Britney Spears!

"It's NOT Britney Bitch!"....Yeah, the Skirt "MIGHT" be cute, but your excessive Muffin Top isn't! Come on girl! either buy a bigger sized skirt, or don't wear this shit at all....You are not back in HS where that school girl outfit actually fit your big ass...Stop kidding yourself, what are you trying to prove? Oh, I know what...that your are a dumb ass brawd, who thinks that anything she wears looks good on her....FUCK NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  No one wants to see that shit!!!! Put some clothes on that actually fit.

That's a Butterfly?! Looks like a dying Moth.....



That's a Butterfly?! Looks like a dying Moth. If you started off with your Tattoo looking like a cute little butterfly, and now looks like a dying moth...Your ass, probably 9 times out of 10, won't fit in the jeans you wore to get the tattoo...Wear jeans that fit bitch, or don't show off your butterfly/moth or whatever that thing on your back is....



Like I said before....If you look like anyone of these above, and even think for a split second that wearing tight, skimpy jeans, shorts, skirts, ect are cute on you...YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!

Have a blessed, and hopefully Muffin Top free day....=)



Gym Etiquette: What to Wear and NOT Wear: If You Don't Want to Be Satred At, Don't Wear The "F*** ME" Workout Clothes To The Gym.

I know, what you guy are thinking....Man, she writes about the gym a lot! I can't help that I see and hear some DUMB SH*T at the gym....

So by now, I am sure you guys have figured out that I go to the gym ALL THE TIME...I have seen & heard some stuff at the gym that just have to be shared.

So, I am walking in to the gym recently when I see a women complaining the staff about men that were staring at her while she was working out....Really lady?! That's your complaint? What the hell was she expecting when she was wearing something that looks like this to the gym?

Of course you are gonna have men that look like this O.o when you are in there damn near half naked. Now, don't get me wrong, You can wear whatever the hell you wanna wear to the gym, as long as you feel comfortable in it. This means, No complaining about people who stare for obvious reasons...I heard this lady say "I'm getting tired of all these nasty ass men staring at me while I workout. I want something done about it!" What exactly can this poor girl behind the counter do or say to the men, or women, at the gym to stop them from staring? NOT A DAMN THING!!!! Man! if that were me behind the counter, I would have been like "Ma'am with all due respect. If really don't want men, or women, to stare at you while you are working out, wear something other than what you are wearing now." I'm sure I would have been written up, or even fired, but let it be known....she would have known about herself that day.

If you don't want or like the attention, wear a f***ing muumuu then. That sounds about right, right? Tell me how stupid does this sounds....A hooker says "Please, don't look at me." But the bitch is out on the street at 3 in the morning, with some 6in "F*** Me" heels, fishnets, no underwear, and dress that a self respecting stripper wouldn't wear. LOL!!!! If you wear the clothes, you will be STARED AT!!!!!

Don't expect for people not to look like this O.o the second you walk by, when you are half naked in the gym.

This topic drives me insane!!! It really Grinds my Gears...LOL!!!

I hope you all have a great and pleasant day...

Gym: Class Room Etiquette...What do you mean, Im standing in "YOUR" spot? GTFOH!

I know, I know..I haven't written a blog in a couple of days....I've been pretty freakin' busy lately, but Im BACK!!!!!!!!!

As a lot of you know, I don't mess around when it comes to my Zumba class on Wednesday's and Sunday's...This class is really popular, the instructor is really good. It's so bad, that if the instructor doesnt show up without telling us he wont be there women damn near form a riot...SMDH!

I go to my Zumba class religiously, and I see and hear the dumbest crap at this class...for example, I get to my class a bit earlier than usual. I find a spot, and start stretching. A lady comes in and says "You're standing in my spot." I looked around and look back at her and said "I don't see your name anywhere around this "spot" after that I continued stretching. This lady says that I needed to move because this is the spot where she always stands. I was like "Well, I got here before you did, and since I pay a monthly fee just like everybody else, I wasn't moving." and after that comment, I continued stretching...LOL!!! I wish you guys could have seen this woman's face...O.o...everyone else around us was either snickering or laughing....After the lady saw that I wasn't going to move, she reluctanly moved as far away from me as possible. Other women came up to me and congratulated me and said "Thank you! You are the only and first person to ever stand up to her about that." I said "Really?! I would have thought someone else would have done the same thing."  I dont back down from anyone, especially over a "Spot" bully....GTFOH! I turned Dee-bo on that ass...."What you got on my "spot" punk?!" LOL! Sorry I had a moment....

GTFOH with that BS....I pay my money just like everyone else...I have never heard of having a "spot" in a gym class room...I aint movin' if you want your "spot" you better get there before I do, because if not...you are SOL with my ass....

There goes my daily rant...Share your gym class story...I need a laugh....Untit tomorrow

If you can't drive on wet pavement and you are old as fuck....GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD & OUT OF MY WAY!!!

      Alright, so I'm sure those of you who drive will understand where I am coming from with this...People who can't drive in the rain, I am saying this as nice as I can, please....GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY!
      Why is it that as soon as the road gets even the slightest droplet of rain....some people want to start driving slow as all hell?! Like they have never seen rain before, I mean, the speed limit is 45mph! The car wont all of a sudden just skid off the road if you are going the speed limit. GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY! I got places to be, and people to see....
      I just hate it (with a passion) when I get stuck behind some old fuck who thinks that going 20 in a 40 mph zone is acceptable in the freakin rain, especially if it's just DRIZZLE!!!!! UGH! it just irks the bejeezus outta me....(GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY!)
      I wish ya'll could see me in my car...LOL!!! I mean, I start spazzin' the frrrrruck out! I start bangin' on my steering wheel, cussin' the mofo in front of me the FUCK OUT!!!! I start sounding like Luda...."MOVE, Bitch, get out the way...Get out the way bitch, get out the way!" I know some of ya'll are laughing, but Im dead ass serious! I really hate it when I'm stuck behind one of these none-driving, paranoid asses and I'm trying to get somewhere....It really feels like it's being done on purpose =/ I'm like REALLY, REALLY! you can't get on to the other lane fucker! MOVE....OMG!
      I sometime have to seriously calm my self down...I remember I am in the car with a baby (most of the time) and I have to make sure that I am vigilant to the rest of the road....Because its not just the idiot in front of me that I have to worry about, it's also all the other "fuck tards" that are out there I have to keep aneye on...
      And another thing! Why are there 98 year men and women still DRIVING! If your steering wheel is crushing your chest, if it looks like if you sneeze your face will hit the wind shield, your glasses are as thick as the bottom of  coke bottles, you need assistance walking and/or pooping...Im sure it is safe to assume you do not need to be driving yourself anywhere. There is no such hurry for you in the world for your old ass to be driving!...I mean, if you need help wiping your ass, Im sure you can find someone who is capable of driving to get you where you need to go.....
      Ok, I feel better now...LOL!!!! If you have a story you would like to share...Pleae do, I need the laughs today...I hope you have enjoyed my random rant of the day....

Gym Locker Room Etiquette....At least put a towel around your naked ass!

So, I go to the gym EVERYDAY!!!!  I go during chow, so this means I shower at the gym, before I head back to work...

I see things in the gym locker room, that no one should have to see...Here's my horrifying story...

SO, I finished my workout, and head to the locker room to get myself ready for a quick shower. As, I am walking into the locker room I see a fairly older lady coming out of the shower booty ass naked! Not even a towel in hand or anything (REALLY!)....(insert finger into mouth and make yourself gag now!) I see this and the first thing I think to myself is why don't you have a towel wrapped around your wrinkled old ass? Why in the bloody hell do you think anyone else would want to see your "pancake ass" naked? I mean, I don't know about anyone out there, but me, I make sure to take all my stuff with me to the shower stall i.e. new underwear, bra, soap, flip flops, and most important my TOWEL!!!! I leave that stall half way dressed, and my towel wrapped around me.

So the story gets better....She gets to her bag and bends over! I'll repeat this....BENDS OVER! I'm like, seriously lady, wrap a towel around your flabby ass, no one wanna see that shit!...

I know that it's a locker room, I completely understand this...but, COME ON SON! I, personally will not/would not walk around the damn locker room butt ass naked for all the world to see my Dominican Goodies because I am in a room with just women. The only place I did that was in Marine Corps Boot Camp, and that's only because I had no choice.

I'm sure I am not the only one that has experience or have seen some nasty shit like this....I had to share my gag moment of the day...LOL!

If you have a  horrifying gym locker room story....Please share, I would love the laughs....

Stoopid Bitch pt.2

I have to let this out...Riddle me this, Why can't fucking skank, hoe, CUNT, Slut bags stay away from men who are taken?.....I dont give a shit if you are calling him for work reasons, just dont do it... That is all I have for now....Thank you Good night to all, and to All a Good night =) P.S. When someone has the answer to this question, please let me know the answer please...

"Ethnically Challanged" for the Marine Corps.....

After a gut wrenching 11 years in the Corps I have come to realize that the Marine Corps is NOT, I repeat NOT for anyone other than the typical white man or female (No Ass, No Hip, No Stomach, NO BODY FAT whatsoever!!! in Dave Chappelle's voice "Pancake Butt's"). I am in no way shape or form being raciest here. This is just how I feel about the Marine Corps Stance on height/weight perseption. So, for those who don't know Marine Corps regulations, you have to be a certain weight for your particular height. If you don't make that weight, you will then be taped,to get your body fat percentage (which, by the way, is the worst way to get your body fat measured). If you don't make either weight or tape then you will put on BCP (BCP = Body Composition Program) Anyway, For the past couple of weeks now, Marines have been scrambling trying to lose their excess weight. Not cool! I see these guys and girls going to the gym sitting in the Sauna, draining their bodies of the one thing that keeps them healthy their SANITY! I really mean water...They all look like freakin' Zombies (it's not a happy time right now.) Now, I'm not saying that some of these guys shouldn't lose some weight, cause a couple of these dudes do look like walking rollie-pollies. They should have been working on their weight all year round, but each his own. I know, and they sure as hell know that they are over weight. But, in some of these Marines' defense, not all men are created equal. I can't say that Marine 1 and Marine 2 can both lose 5lbs in a weeks time. Marine 1 maybe able to lose the 5lbs by just breathing, while Marine 2 may not be able to lose the weight that easy (no matter how hard he/she may workout), it might take Marine 2 3 weeks, while Marine 1 takes 2 days to lose the same amount of weight. Like I said before, everyone is different and no man (or woman for the matter) is created equal. So, for the Marine Corps to judge someone because of what their weight is proportioned to what their height is, is freaking RIDICULOUS!!! A 300 PFT'er (PFT = Physical Fitness Test) who is, let's say 6 foot tall or 72 inches (for us Marines) is 9lbs over their max weight (which is 202lbs) is still considered a FAT ASS, but a Marine who is the same Height, but is within "regs", but barely passes the same PFT...it's alright. Come on! All that would be said about that Marine is "All he/she has to do is workout on the event of the PFT he needs to improve on and he'll be alright." While the Marine who gets a 300 is talked about in a bad light. All that is seen is that he/she is over their max weight, and considered to be a glutton, a person who doesn't know how to control eatting. The first question would be, What does your diet look like? Do you even workout? Why are you over weight? Makes no damn sense! It's so damn infuriating! It's annoying, and insulting! Take me for example, I'm 5'7" or 67" tall. I am not in anyway a "stud" when it comes to the PFT, but I hold my own. I pass with a fairly decent score. Here's my problem, I'm an ethnic woman (this means hips and ass) If I were to go past 159lbs, I would be considered "overweight" even though I for DAMN sure don't look it. This means I would have to get taped. If I were to get taped...wait for it...the results would be I am a FAT ASS in the Marine Corps eyes (even though I damn near live in the gym, and sure as hell don't look fat). Mind you, I can not pass 27% Body Fat...I am a whopping 33%! There is NO WAY IN HELL I will EVER make tape. All I would do is laugh...Now if a Non-Ethnic woman (once again, I am not raciest) who is same height and weight comes in and weighs in, you best believe she will (and I have seen this with my own eyes) make weight, and not even have to worry about tape. I guess all I can do right now is vent, because all I am is a Sgt in the big ol' Marine Corps...Small fish in a huge ass pond. If I were to try and say something, no one will hear me. I will have to try and figure out how to make my voice heard. I truly believe that this Height/Weight system is not fair for some and fair for others. Those who deserve to be labeled a fat ass, should be labeled that, but those of us who are "Ethnically Challenged" in the Marine Corps are suffering because of who we are body wise. Now, is that really fair?